Resources
Family violence is when a person harms or controls a family member, or someone they’re in a close relationship with. The harm or control can be physical, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual, or a combination of these. Below are some examples of the resources we use to help people address family violence.
Te Whare Tapa Whā
Te Whare Tapa Whā was developed by leading Māori health advocate Sir Mason Durie in 1984. The model describes health and wellbeing as a wharenui/meeting house with four walls.
These walls represent taha wairua/spiritual wellbeing, taha hinengaro/mental and emotional wellbeing, taha tinana/physical wellbeing and taha whānau/family and social wellbeing. Our connection with the whenua/land forms the foundation.
When all these things are in balance, we thrive. When one or more of these is out of balance our wellbeing is impacted.
The Anger Iceberg
The Anger Iceberg represents the idea that, although anger is displayed outwardly, other emotions may be hidden beneath the surface. These other feelings—such as sadness, fear, or guilt—might cause a person to feel vulnerable, or they may not have the skills to manage them effectively. By exploring what’s beneath the surface, people can gain insight into their anger, such as other possible treatment avenues.
Understanding boundaries
Just like fences separate physical property, relational boundaries refer to the limits a person has with another person. Your boundaries are your personal guidelines for how you expect other people to treat you.
In a healthy family system, each person assumes responsibility for their part in keeping the system balanced and safe. For example, a parent might set a boundary against unwanted behaviours like cursing, hitting, or stealing. A spouse might request that his partner doesn’t share his private information with outside friends. A mother might ask her daughter to call her when she arrives at her friend’s house. Effective boundaries are concise and defined – there isn’t any “guessing” what the other person wants.